Small Town Jokes and Blonde Jokes
Okay, I don't know why this popped into my mind last night; for some reason I started thinking of a whole bunch of silly jokes and riddles I've been told over the years. Mostly they're "small town jokes" - jokes and riddles about small, redneck sort of places. Of course, these jokes are completely transplantable - you can make the town be anything you like. Ready? Here we go.Q: How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Medway?
A: If it had been invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush!
Newsflash: In a terrible conflagration, the West Paris library burned to the ground yesterday afternoon. Tragically, they lost both books.
And they hadn't even been colored yet.
Newsflash: In a terrible conflagration, the Alabama Governor's Mansion burned to the ground yesterday afternoon.
So did the rest of the trailer park.
Q: What's the best thing to come out of the state of Maine?
A: I-95 and Route 1.
In Calais, people are required to go to the movies in groups of eighteen or more, because 17 and under are not admitted.
Q: What is the most common phrase used by University of Maine graduates?
A: Would you like fries with that?
Newsflash: The Oxford Hills planning board rejected plans to add a new Taco Bell in the region, pointing out that we've already got a phone company in the area.
Q: Why don't Japanese cars sell well in Maine?
A: People are afraid they won't understand what they say on the radio.
Okay, that's enough of that. Last week Michelle (one of the counselors at camp) and I got to swapping blonde jokes, and I thought I'd wrap up this silly entry with two of those.
Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
There was a blonde convention in New York City last year, the purpose of which was to convince the world that blondes really aren't dumb. An expert was hired to come in and ask test questions. One blonde was selected to answer the questions.
The expert asked "What is 7 plus 3?" The blonde ponders for a moment, then says "21?". The crowd screams "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"
So the expert asks "What is 4 times 3?" The blonde ponders some more and says "7?". Again the crowd screams "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"
So the expert says, "Last question! What is two plus two?"
After long and careful deliberation, the blonde says "four?"
"Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"
Okay, that's it for me. Maybe tomorrow I'll share my viola jokes.
Posted On Jul 13, 2005 at 4:18 AM
On Jul 13, 2005 Mr. Physics wrote: A math teacher failed the star football player just before the state championship game. The prospect of playing the game without him so terrified the coach that he went to the math teacher and begged him to give the player another chance. After some consideration the math teacher agreed. He decided to give him some oral math questions.
First he asked "What is 7 plus 3?" The player ponders for a moment, then says "21?".
The coach begs "Give him another chance!" So the teacher asks "What is 4 times 3?" The player ponders some more and says "7?".
Again the coach begs "Give him another chance! Give him another chance!" So the teacher says, "Last question! What is two plus two?"
After long and careful deliberation, the player says "four?"
Before the teacher can respond, the coach yells, "Pass him! He only missed it by one!"
Doug Replied: ha ha...that's even better!
On Jul 13, 2005 Beth wrote: lol, I've heard that one. That's a good one
On Jul 14, 2005 Mr. T. wrote: Mr. Physics - I'm surprised at you! The math teacher didn't fail the football player - the football player failed the math teachers class!!
*Me thinks Mr. Physics has been out of the classroom too long!*
Doug Replied: hoo boy. I can see this site is going to be a source of familial squabbles as well as the Quote Puzzler Site.
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