Grief And Mourning
A couple days ago I stumbled across something I wrote three years ago. It was a response to someone who was trying to figure out how to console her sons in the grief of a lost friend. I thought I would post it here, if nothing else as a reminder to myself. Yesterday Tommy, a boy in our youth group (and also one of the two young men who has been traveling with me as my sound man) was killed in an ATV accident.
A few years ago some missionaries I knew faced a similar tragedy...their son, on the day of his graduation, was involved in a motorcycle accident, and was killed. It was a terrible tragedy.
For me, it was a helpless feeling, because I knew that there really wasn't anything I could say or do that would ease their suffering. I suspect you're probably feeling the same way.
There were a couple things I thought of during that time and maybe they'll be helpful to you...the first was, I thought of Job's friends, who in the midst of his suffering sat and said nothing for seven days.
And their silence spoke a powerful message...it said, "We can't fix your pain, but your pain matters to us." Of course, then they ended up trying to fix it, and that didn't work so well.
And I think probably one of the most valuable things you can do for your sons is not to try to 'fix' their pain, but simply to let them know, through your actions if not your words, that their pain matters to you.
The second thing I thought of was these words from Psalm 20
May the LORD answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
May he send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.
And this is what you are already doing...praying for your sons when they are in distress.
This verse is a beautiful one...
The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O LORD , endures forever-
do not abandon the works of your hands.
And we know that God won't abandon the works of His hands, but the fact that the Psalmist says that at all implies that he's got his own doubts about God's plans. Remember that when you deal with your son who you fear is losing his faith...when it comes to doubt and confusion about faith, he's in good company.
Our teens have been reading through the Gospel of Matthew one section at a time. Today's section was the beginning of the Sermon On The Mount, in which Jesus says: Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Posted On Sep 10, 2006 at 2:29 PM
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