Sunday School Answers
Woke up at 2:45 this morning, and couldn't get back to sleep. So I lay in bed and finished reading "Cheaper By The Dozen" (thanks, Laura...I needed that!)Finally decided to get up, and walk down to Irving and get a paper, too see if I got misquoted in the article about Tommy Boyd. It was actually pretty good, except for the part where they said I spent the weekend counseling with teens in the youth group...considering I was away from home this weekend, that would have been difficult...to all the youth group leaders who did spend time with the teens this weekend, many thanks to all of you!
I was thinking yesterday about "Sunday School Answers". You know what Sunday School Answers are, right? They're the answers they taught you in Sunday School class as a child.
They are very simple answers which we want to drill into the minds of young people, because we know that they will help them later in life - they are important life lessons. Things like "God is bigger than all your problems," and "Lo, I will never leave you nor forsake you."
I used to despise "Sunday School Answers". I get annoyed when I hear them. And yet, I have come to realize, my despite was misplaced. The fact is, all our Sunday School Answers have one very simple thing in common...
Truth.
We teach these lessons to the children because they are true. God really is bigger than all your problems. Jesus really won't leave you or forsake you. These Sunday School Answers have been taught for centuries precisely because they are true and important, albeit simple.
So what is my problem? Why have I despised Sunday School Answers?
Because of the way they are used. This is what I've always had a problem with, though I never thought it through until recently.
Good: We tell a child of Jesus' promise to never leave him or forsake him, and this promise helps to prepare him for circumstances he will face in life.
Bad: When someone (probably not a child) is facing a great trial or tragedy, we say to them, "Jesus promises to never leave you nor forsake you, so snap out of it." or "God is bigger than all your problems, so why are you having a problem with this?" Okay, maybe we don't say exactly those words, but our tone of voice says it. We think that the Sunday School Answer is a solution to a problem, when in fact it is a truth which, if the person has learned it, will help them through the problem. But if they haven't learned the truth, if they don't have a strong faith in that truth, having someone blurt it out to them will be of little value.
This summer when I taught at Camp Good News Teen Camp, I taught a couple lessons from Psalm 43 and Psalm 126. These Psalms are about grief, suffering, and tragedy. I said to the teens, "The lessons I'm telling you now, you need to let them sink in now, even if you don't think you need them, because when the time comes that you do need them, you won't want to hear them from anyone."
Sunday School Answers are primarily designed to prepare children for circumstances that they will face. Not as a method of "scolding" people through current circumstances.
When they are used in current circumstances, they must be shared with a great measure of grace, gentleness, and humility.
Here is the other issue; Sunday School Answers are often used by people who have no experience with the troubles faced by another. A few years ago, when a good friend and family member lost a baby, I was determined that I would not offer them any Sunday School Answers. In part because they already knew them, but also because I had no frame of reference from which to understand the measure of their grief, and coming from me, it would sound so very hollow and empty, and would be of no value to them...
As we deal with people who suffer from grief, we must always remember the Sunday School Answers, because they are TRUE answers. But we must be cautious in how we share those Sunday School Answers with those who are grieving. Never use them as a way of trying to scold people out of their grief. Whenever possible, couch them in terms of our own human experiences of seeing those truths in action in our own lives.
In other words, Sunday School Answers sound weak and meaningless when they come from people who have learned them only in Sunday School, but have never put them through the test of the human battlefield of life.
Whenever we cannot honestly say that we have seen those truths in action in our own lives, perhaps it is best to remember that they probably know the truths anyway, and remember the example of Job's friends who for seven days sat in silence, and did more good with their silence than with all the many words they spoke.
Posted On Sep 12, 2006 at 2:44 AM
On Sep 12, 2006 Doug wrote: There is a phrase we used to hear: God said it, I believe it, that settles it. We once had a pastor who insisted we should remove the middle part: God said it, that settles it.
That always made me feel uncomfortable, but I never could pinpoint why.
Here is why: It removes faith from the equation. It assumes faith, instead of promoting faith. And this mentality is what results in the dangerous misuse of "Sunday School Answers".
Jesus himself, on the occasion of Lazarus death, said to Martha "I am the resurrection and the life", but then finished his statement with a question which was very important to Him (and to Martha!)...
DO YOU BELIEVE THIS?
On Sep 12, 2006 Laura wrote: Thanks for writing that - I think I understand the purpose of friendship during grief better now. To be honest, I haven't had to deal with this much in close friendships, but too often I tend to get the "hero" mentality, as if anything I could say could somehow "save" someone from their grief - which is a very prideful way to look at things. Sometimes being silent with someone really is the best way to start.
Doug Replied: *nods* and grief isn't really something we should save people from...Jesus said blessed are they that mourn, and at some point in the next couple days I will try to write some more about that...either here or on the Biblical Illuminations site.
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