Comment Spam
Do you know what "Comment Spam" is? It's when someone who has a website to advertise wanders the internet looking for blogs that allow users to post comments, and they post links to their websites in the comments section.Usually it looks something like this:
Quote:
| i liek ur website. u should chekc out mine. [link to a stupid website that no one in their right mind would visit] |
And, more often than not, the idiot doing the comment spamming is trying to advertise a *ahem* inappropriate site.
For me, comment spam is a source of amusement rather than inconvenience; this blog automatically keeps all comments hidden unless I decide to publish them. Guess what percent of comment spams gets published.
But here's what's REALLY funny...there is (apparently) a comment spammer who has decided to subscribe to my blog, so he can post a new spam in every entry...
He's so dumb that...
1. He hasn't read the statement in the post-a-comment which says all comments are reviewed before publishing.
He's so dumb that...
2. When he noticed that his comment wasn't published, he proceeded to submit it four more times.
He's so dumb that...
3. Even after his comment wasn't published after trying it four times in a row, he still comes back every time I post a new entry.
He's so dumb that...
4. He'll probably try to post a comment on this blog entry which explains just how dumb he is.
Don't worry, Mr. Spammer, when you get to second grade, they'll teach you how to read. When you get to third grade they'll teach you how to put two and two together.
In the meantime, Happy New Year.
Posted On Jan 1, 2007 at 7:19 AM
On Jan 1, 2007 Mr. T wrote: Quote:
| Guess what percent of comment spams gets published. |
Ummm... I'm thinking ZERO???
Although I'm interested - what percent of all your comments are Comment Spam?
Doug Replied: you is wicked smaht! I bet you even have an IQ higher than a comment spammer!
Most of the comments I get are "real" comments - some public, some private.
On Jan 6, 2007 Doug wrote: And JoshuaFerrari just tried to post comment spam advertising...
get ready for it...
Viagra and bifocals.
Yep. It just doesn't get any better than that!
On Jan 6, 2007 Doug wrote: Ha ha...I just ran a search for JoshuaFerrari. He doesn't just do comment spam, he also does forum spam...he joins a forum, posts a thread advertising his sites, and leaves.
On one forum he was advertising...
Viagra and acne medicine.
On Jan 19, 2007 jptjos wrote: Hi! Excellent site, I really like your stuff.
[editor deleted ads for various drugs]
I'll be back.
Doug Replied: Why thank you very much. I'm glad you stopped by. Hope you don't mind that I deleted all your ad spam. It takes a certain brand of - I don't know what - to post a comment spam on a blog post pointing out how stupid comment spam is.
On Jan 19, 2007 ovzkeb wrote: Hi, excellent site, added to favorites!
[editor: removed comment spam about mortgages and insurance]
Good luck.
Doug Replied: Whoops! You must have missed the spot in this posting where I talk about dumb comment spammers who don't notice that all comments get reviewed before posting. That must be why you tried posting the comment twice in a row, because it didn't show up the first time?
Don't worry...the scarecrow didn't have a brain either.
On Jan 19, 2007 ovzkeb wrote: Hi, excellent site, added to favorites!
[editor: removed comment spam about mortgages and insurance]
Good luck.
Doug Replied: why thank you, comment spammer!
On Jan 20, 2007 prbmwp wrote: Hello, wonderful and informative web site.
<a href= http://ipoo.org/5o0p >cheap tramadol</a> <a href= http://linkook.com/C5 >buy viagra online</a> <a href= http://ipoo.org/9cd1 >buy viagra now</a> <a href= http://durl.us/2050 >viagra sale</a> <a href= http://urlzip.de/68r >buy meridia online</a>
Good luck.
Doug Replied: Just for the sake of showing off the sheer brilliance of comment spammers, I decided to let this one through unedited, so you can see that this spammer hasn't even figured out how to format his comment spam in such a way as to create a hyperlink. In other words, not only can you not click his links, he's not even getting any link popularity from this.
On Jan 21, 2007 veojkq wrote: Hello! Pretty nice site, wants to see much more on it!
<a href= http://urlzip.de/6nw >florida health insurance</a> <a href= http://urlzip.de/6nx >free life insurance quote</a> <a href= http://url.vg/dwlog/c3cb6e/badcreditmortgageloanmor >bad credit mortgage loan</a> <a href= http://urlzip.de/6ny >life insurance quote</a> <a href= http://url.vg/dwlog/4213a9/lifeinsurancenomedicalin >life insurance no medical</a>
Good bye.
Doug Replied: "wants to see much more on it!
"Well, you know, your comment spam is really a great addition to the site. I especially admire your inability - like the spammer before you - to create hyperlinks.
I think there should be an award for that kind of talent.
On Jan 22, 2007 cgxwbv wrote: [whoops]
Doug Replied: Dear cgxwbv, I know, I know...right now you're thinking to yourself...
"Hey! I didn't post a comment that said 'Whoops!'...I posted comment spam. And not only did I post comment spam, but it was stoopid comment spam. I mean...my comment spam is just as stoopid as the previous comment spam...my links don't work either! So how come you posted their stoopid comment spam, but not mine?"
That's an excellent question. And you said it yourself...your comment spam was JUST AS stoopid as the previous comment spam. That's precisely the issue. I want to see if you can come up with something even stoopider than invalid URL formatting, because my readers are getting bored with that.
So, I'm throwing down the gauntlet. If you want me to post your comment spam, you've got to prove that you are even stoopider than your run-of-the-mill comment spammer!
I know. A challenge. Please don't disappoint me.
On Jan 22, 2007 wgxgci wrote: [boyamidumb]
Doug Replied: no no, you're completely missing the point. We've already established that comment spammers are so stupid (or, as a comment spammer would say, "stoopid") that they can't properly format web links. If you want me to post your comment spam, you've got to do something that is...well...so stupid it's brilliant!
Good luck with that!
On Jan 30, 2007 generic viagra wrote: Please, visit my links and dont remove it.
[links removed]
Doug Replied: Okay, generic viagra, congratulations. You posted a comment spam stupider than the average comment spam...you actually thought that I wouldn't remove your links if you asked politely?
*snicker*
On Jan 31, 2007 discount viagra wrote: I want to thank your page,it good!
[comment spam removed]
Doug Replied: You want to thank my PAGE? Well, I've never really thought it made much sense to thank a non-sentient object for something, but okay.
And while we're on the subject of thanking non-sentients...
THANK YOU for your comment!
On Jan 31, 2007 Doug wrote: Whoops...I forgot, I was talking to comment spammers. Here...I'll save you the trouble of looking it up:
Definition of sentient
On Jan 31, 2007 levitra online wrote: You can also visit my page.
[comment spam removed]
Doug Replied: Thanks. I think I won't.
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